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Mountain Dew in the Glass Bottle is Affecting my Beer Drinking


My life changed three days ago. My girlfriend comes home and says, "Hey babe, I got you a surprise; let me go grab it out of the car." I never could've imagined that she would pick the PERFECT surprise. While shopping at her local Target, she stumbled upon heaven in a glass bottle. That's right, folks ... Mountain Dew ... in a glass bottle!


I LOVE Mountain Dew. Every once in a while you can ...
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Please ... Help a Courtney Today.



Hi folks. Meet Courtney. She's my co-worker and she gets on my last damn nerve.


However, Courtney thinks I'm the coolest boy in school. While working together the other night, she practically begged me to post a blog on my super-cool website, whereby, I ...
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President Obama to Resign Presidency on May 31st

BREAKING NEWS: Washington, DC.

At 8:05 this morning, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney stunned members of the media by announcing that President Obama will be resigning as POTUS at 5pm on Friday, May 31st, 2013. Carney issued the following statement on behalf of President Obama:

"After a lifetime of public service, and five years as your Commander in Chief, President Obama has decided to take a break from the hectic lifestyle of public service to focus on his family ...
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Why I Support Marriage Equality



I support marriage equality because it's unfair for the State to grant one group of humans rights that another group of humans can't experience, largely based on outdated, religious programming.

America's founding fathers understood the importance of the separation of Church and ...
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Dr. Drew and VH1 Responsible for the Death of Mindy McCready?



I've been wanting to address Dr. Drew Pinsky's show Celebrity Rehab for quite some time now. After looking through my notebook of potential blog topics, it appears as though my initial inspiration to write about the dangers of this television show came in September of 2011.

Unfortunately, I ...
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Stop Wasting Salt on Beer Napkins!



I just can't take it anymore. Somebody has to say something. I'll be that warrior.

I've been a beer drinker for quite some time. When I go to a pub or restaurant, I often drink draft beer. While waiting for my draft beer, the bartender or server will, in ...
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New Rules Regarding the Social Contract of Tipping


Behold! Let all those with eyeballs understand the following:

If you choose to enter an establishment where you are being "waited upon" by a server (waitress) or bartender, you MUST tip them ... no matter what.

As a bartender, I work for tips. I do my very best to ensure I provide the highest-caliber of customer service to my guests. I make it a point to remember their names (in most cases), which causes my ...
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Why Tim Tebow's Public Praying Ruined His NFL Career



I like Tim Tebow. I admire his attitude and spirit. I even went out and purchased a Denver Broncos "Tim Tebow" shirt to wear during last year's playoffs. My beloved Redskins didn't make the playoffs in 2011, so I decided to pull for Tebow and his Broncos.

...
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Navigating Glitches in the ZTE Warp Sequent

I've been a loyal Boost Mobile customer for a few years now. Signing up for automatic debit ensured that I always paid my bill on time. As many of you know, every six months you pay your bill on time, your monthly payment drops by $5. I had finally reached the milestone of $35 per month on my Samsung Prevail (it was Grandfathered in), when I decided to upgrade to the ZTE Warp Sequent.
...
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My 2013 New Year's Resolution: Facebook Fridays

Greetings beautiful creatures of Earth, and surrounding areas. It's time for everyone's annual New Year's Resolution (NYR)!

Last year, I must say, my NYR was a complete success. I don't fall into the category of folks who are "going to start working out," or start "getting organized." I've already mastered those elements of life, so they've become second-nature.

So ... for my 2012 NYR, I decided to start playing the lottery every week! While in deep meditation, the following revelation ...
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The Redskins vs. Cowboys Facebook Challenge

It's almost time for the most revered rivalry in the NFL : The Washington Redskins vs. The Dallas Cowboys!

This Thanksgiving, after enjoying food and other festivities with your family, the nation will be tuning in to watch this mini-super bowl. I'm not one for betting money on games, so I've created a fun option that will certainly keep you on the edge of your seat — adrenaline pumping — as you watch the game.
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Why Obama is Better for America than Romney



Spoiler Alert:
I'm not voting for either candidate. Continue reading.


For those of you who don't know, I pretty much control the entire world from this squeaky computer chair here in my room. You see, I use these magical fingers of mine to gently stroke the letters on ...
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Why You Should Never Say 'I Love You, Too'

If you've been a loyal follower of my writing over the past couple of years, you'll know that I'm rather quirky when it comes to human communication and proper execution of the English language.

I often find myself looking down on people who don't understand the difference between "your" and "you're."


I also hate when people go through the robotic "How are you?" ritual. "Oh, I'm fine," they say. Meanwhile, ...
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Religious Delusion: The Parents Who Killed Their Son With Prayer

Russel and Brandi Bellew of Eugene, Oregon, have been sentenced to five years probation after pleading guilty to negligent homicide, following the death of their 16-year-old son, Austin Sprout.

In December, Austin became ill with flu-like symptoms. Instead of seeking medical attention, his parents chose to pray. The couple belongs to the General Assembly and Church of the First Born, which doesn't believe in modern medicine. They subscribe to the erroneous theory projected in a New Testament ...
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The Exploitation of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

When I first saw Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, I, like many humans, was appalled. I mean, here we iz, skrate up glorifying the zany antics of a redneck family, who was proud to say, "You betta redneckognize!"


And then I watched another episode. And another. And another. An entire marathon of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was embedded into my consciousness. And then I realized that I was, sorta kinda, falling ...
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