"Quality time, and words of praise are the two most valuable gifts you can give a child."  Brandon Merhout

I just returned from a 4th of July trip to Florida, to hang out with an old friend, and her incredible 9 year-old son, Diego.  They both came to visit me several years ago, here in Birmingham, when Diego was two or three.  I must say, he has developed into one of the most incredible young men I've ever had the pleasure to meet.


Credit goes to his mom, Lourdes, for helping him develop quality characteristics.  Not to mention his Tita (Grandma), Grandpa, his uncles, and the strong family bond that's typically present in the Hispanic community.  He's got to be the most well-mannered kid I've ever met.  Granted, my access to kids is limited, but I do run across a few while out at the pool, or in Walmart, etc.  And from what I see of kids on reality TV shows, these important characteristics aren't being developed like they were in days past.

When it comes to being thoughtful, and considerate of the needs of others, I've never seen anything like Diego.  He enjoys playing "Waiter", saying, "Anything you need from the kitchen, just ask your waiter, and I'll be happy to bring it." 



And here's an interesting part of my Independence Day weekend story:

A couple weeks ago, the sign in front of the church near my house said:  "Remember to compliment at least three people today."  For some reason, two weeks later, on Thursday at 8:34am (as I was preparing to leave for Florida), I was inspired to post that on my Facebook and Twitter accounts for my friends and followers.

"Remember to compliment at least three people today."

Unfortunately, I was alone in the car on Thursday, as I made the ten hour trek to Ft. Myers.  I didn't even really remember the whole "3 compliment" thing, until after I arrived in Ft. Myers, and had the opportunity to spend time with Lourdes and Diego.  After not seeing him for seven years, and having the opportunity to talk over dinner, I was inspired to say, "Wow, you are an OUTSTANDING young man!"

He fired back with a compliment of his own.

A bit later, I noticed he was constantly trying to ensure I was content as "the guest", even saying, "the guest always comes first."  That's when I said, "You've got to be the most CONSIDERATE young man on the planet!"

He kinda humbly shrugged it off, as if to suggest that this is just how things are supposed to be.  No big deal.  Being considerate is how I roll.


Finally, after hearing him speak at an advanced-level, about ideas most 9 year-olds wouldn't even think about, I said, "Not only are you an OUTSTANDING young man, not only are you a CONSIDERATE young man, but you're an incredibly SMART young man as well!"

He lit up like a Christmas Tree, and fired back with his own set of compliments.

At that moment, I realized that he had just given me the opportunity to give my three compliments for the day!  Sure, it wasn't one compliment to three different people, but at least I got out my three compliments, and didn't end up being a hypocrite.  I let him know he was an "answer to my three-compliment prayer", and that — without him, it wouldn't have been possible.  This caused him to light up again.

For the rest of my trip, he was trying to "out-compliment" me, even keeping score of how many compliments he had given.  He also said on several different occasions, "I want you to know I mean all these compliments, too!"

As you can probably tell, the kid has captured my heart.  More on that ... in a minute.

The first two nights, he mentioned that he wanted to play pool on his pool table, since he doesn't have anyone to play against.  The pool table had boxes and other junk on it, so we kept putting it off.  I also mentioned that I had tennis rackets in the car, and he expressed an interest in playing that as well (he'd never played before).


Finally, after spending all day July 4th at the beach, we head to the house, where Diego and I played a few games of pool.  We talked a little bit of trash, and I could tell he was having a blast.

After accidentally making one of his balls, he starts shooting at one of mine, hoping to make it go in.  "Diego, what are you doing?!  That's my ball," I exclaimed!

"Oh, I know.  I just wanted to make it fair, since you made one of mine," he replied.  Once again, there he goes, thinking of others first.

And here's the part of the story — where my heart finally melted:  After we walked Neo (and after he explained Heaven, "Down There" (Hell) and God's Unquestioned Forgiveness), he said he wanted to go play tennis, since he's never tried it.  At this point, fireworks were going off in the neighborhood, and even though I was tired, I understood that this had the capacity to be a memorable experience for the lad, so we walked to the tennis courts.

After playing for about thirty minutes, on the way home, he said this:  "Brandon, thanks for spending time with me doing all these fun things today.  This has been the best day of my whole life."

Whoa.  My heart melted. 


A few moments later, he said, "I wish you could stay here forever."

Now my heart is a puddle.

Over what?  I offered consistent words of praise, and spent quality time, hoping to enrich the life of a child.

Which brings us to this wisdom:  It's not the material things in life that are important to a child.  It's another type of investment — the investment of your time — that they find to be priceless.  As you plant quality seeds of praise into their lives, they're more likely to blossom into dynamic human beings.  Human beings who continue to put the needs of others before their own.  Or, in the words of Jesus:

DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU.

Are you investing quality time into the lives of your kids?  Are you attending their ball games?  Are you helping them with their homework?  Are you playing catch, pool, tennis, golf, board games, basketball, etc?  Are you giving them small tasks to complete that help build their self-confidence? 


Or do you let the video game or computer "baby-sit" them?

Are you offering words of praise and encouragement?  Are you noticing the small things they do well, and letting them know you appreciate it?  Or do you yell, condemn, debate, and/or argue?

The seeds you plant today, will be the harvest you reap tomorrow.

Click HERE for pics from my rad 4th of July Weekend, in Ft. Myers, FL!