"True character and loyalty is best demonstrated when a person is backed into a corner."  Brandon Merhout

I was having a discussion with a friend recently, about this very issue.  We were talking about human beings' inability to control their emotions during challenging situations — especially in regards to close friendships and/or love relationships.  When a friendship or love relationship "breaks up", it's very tempting to start bad-mouthing the other person, plotting evil schemes, wanting to cause physical harm, etc.

But what happens when the beautiful illusion of time enters the picture?  In most cases, after a period of time elapses, things settle down, and most friendships/relationships tend to put themselves back together.



But now you're left with a friendship/relationship with the REAL person — not the facade they may have projected while in the blissful initial phase of your friendship/relationship.  Once a person is "backed into a corner", their true character is revealed.  And what happens to the strength of the relationship?  There's always a little volcanic tension that's quietly bubbling up, from that point forward.

You remember the hurtful things they said or did — while you were separated.  This causes you to put up protective barriers, because you now understand who you're REALLY dealing with (in regards to their TRUE nature).

Which invites us to look at friendship/relationship separations in a different light.  Remember, when you change the way you look at things — the things you look at change.



So what if we were able to use "relationship separations" as a way to BUILD a stronger relationship in the future?  The next time you and a friend or lover have a falling out, why not use this as an OPPORTUNITY to demonstrate a higher level of character and emotional control?

Instead of allowing your lower nature (the ego) to dictate your life-experience, why not let your higher nature (The Holy Spirit) control your thoughts, words, and actions? 

The next time you're in a position to "prove your point" about how another person wronged you, simply say something like the following:  "Yes, it's true that _____ and I had a falling out.  As you know, most relationships go through these types of challenges.  Instead of focusing on the negative elements of our relationship, I choose to remember the great things we shared together.  And if it's in the highest good of us both, maybe we'll share more positive experiences together in the future, once this settles down.  That's all I choose to say about the matter."


Granted, taking this stance will likely be one of the most challenging tasks you've ever had to master.  But think about the BENEFITS — if nothing else — to your own peace of mind, if you were able to practice this philosophy.

At the very least, you can rest easy at night, knowing you offered the above statement — not adding any further salt to the wound.  And once your words get around to the other person (and they always do), you've completely disarmed them — in regards to adding any further complications to the broken relationship!

I've learned that people will get tired of trying to fight somebody, who just refuses to fight back.  People who choose to gossip, argue, debate, etc. are quite simply, full of emotional poison.  Most of it probably isn't even your fault.  But as the person they're strongly attached to (via friendship or love relationship), you're the person who's most likely to push these "emotional volcanic buttons."


And then all Emotional Hell breaks loose.

Now you're presented with an amazing opportunity!  You get the chance to prove your Spiritual Mastery!  What a wonderful blessing in disguise!  You can either be in REACTION to another person's emotional poison, or you can refuse their poisonous drink, choosing instead to be the CREATOR (not REACTOR) of your earthly experience!

Be seduced into Hell, or experience the Kingdom of Heaven (that lives within and is 'at hand' at all times).

And let me tell you first hand, the POWER that you feel while resisting the temptation to be seduced into another person's Emotional Hell is quite riveting.  You should try it sometime.  ;]



More importantly, when the relationship quarrel settles down, the strength of your NEW relationship/friendship will be IMPROVED, because you were able to control your emotions (and words), and remain loyal, while being "backed into a corner".

As with most things, this is more challenging than it sounds ... and even ME ... the great, humble, spiritually-advanced incarnate that I am, is still perfecting the art.  (And perfecting the art of using grammar correctly, as demonstrated in that last sentence.) 

However, I'm MUCH better than I used to be.  And if I can humbly add — much more skilled in this area than most of the humans on the planet — with whom I've interacted.  ;]  Which leaves me in a much better emotional place.  And that should be our personal goal every day:  To be a little bit better than we were yesterday.

Be like He-Man ... Master your Inner Universe.