The Nice Life Inspirational Quotation:  "You're always alone, but you're only lonely if you don't like the person you're alone with."  Dr. Wayne Dyer

I just returned from my Solitude Beach Trip 2009, on the beautiful Gulf Coast. 



Here's the view from my $49 per night hotel room.

Now that the "beach season" is coming to an end, hotels are slashing their rates.  As with most opportunities in life, timing is everything.  You've gotta know when to hold 'em ... and know when to fold 'em.  Just a couple of weeks ago, this room/view would've went for $250 per night.  I booked my room at 9:30am, left at 10:30am, and was sitting on the beach five hours later.  Spontaneity rules.

I was recently re-reading a book by Henri J.M. Nouwen, titled The Way of the Heart: Connecting With God Through Prayer, Wisdom, and Silence.  He also talks about solitude, saying: "Solitude is the place of purification and transformation, the place of the great struggle and the great encounter ... the place of our salvation." 

Solitude is the furnace of transformation.

Jesus himself entered this furnace, while being tempted by Satan in the desert.  Think about the way gold is put into the fire, in order to burn off its impurities.  This is what happens when you enter the furnace of solitude — your impurities are burned away — leaving you more precious (like gold) than you were before.

This was my second solo vacation to the beach; the first was in the summer of 2007.  I talk about this experience in Book 1, in Segment #42: "Time Alone."  The Have A Nice Life Re-Minder at the end of that segment reads: "Fall in love with yourself — spend time alone.  Once you're able to fall in love with you, everyone else will begin to fall in love with you as well!"



But how many people really love themselves?

I'm not talking about conceit; I'm talking about a healthy appreciation for who you are.  How many people are comfortable with the idea of going out-of-town, on vacation — alone?  Very few.  Most folks need the company of another person to fill the uncomfortable gaps of silence and "boredom."

They ask the following questions:

"What do you wanna do?" 

"I dunno.  What do you wanna do?"

"Oh, it doesn't matter ... whatever you wanna do."



Still asleep — caught in the Matrix — they constantly feel the need to be "doing" something.  Never satisfied with silence (which is the voice of God), or solitude (where one encounters God), they feel the need to distract themselves from themselves.  The best way to do that, is to be "doing" something (usually with a crowd of other unhappy humans). 

I'm not sure if the fear of solitude is:  (a) The fear of spending time with yourself (who you must not like very much), or (b) The fear of spending time with God (because you're afraid of what He'll say to you).  It's probably different for each person — but is most likely a combination of both.

I've cultivated such a genuine love and respect for myself, that I prefer to bask in the serenity of solitude.  This rings especially true while I'm at the ocean — which has always been my favorite place to connect with God.  I can just submerge myself in the ocean for an hour at a time (for meditative bliss) without feeling the pressure of being "watched" by your company, or "rushed" because you know they want to go "do something."



That's a photo of me and a bird named Word (he was a lot closer than the pic reflects).  We kicked it for like twenty minutes together on a recent beach trip at the end of July.

As the sun was rising on the beach, I felt him saying, "I know these pesky humans will be out here in a couple hours, and I won't be able to enjoy gazing out onto the ocean, with my feet in the sand.  I'd better relish in this moment while I can."  He wasn't digging in the sand for food — he was just gazing out onto the ocean — very much like we humans do.

It's in these moments of silence and solitude that we're able to have such revealing insights.  If we're constantly being bombarded with entertainment — and the company of others — we leave little space for God (via the Holy Spirit) to enter our lives with important information.

The Holy Spirit (the Spirit of Truth) is always guiding us to higher levels — intending to increase our joy, peace of mind, and inner strength.

If you're always asleep in the Matrix (the world of distraction), you'll never reach this place of consistent joy, peace of mind, and inner strength.  Consequently, you'll continue to distract yourself with pointless temporary "soul fillers," in an effort to erroneously convince yourself that you're happy!



It's time to discover how you really feel about yourself.  Schedule some quality time with just you.

Arrange to take yourself on vacation.  It doesn't have to be for an entire week — just make it for the weekend.  Get off work on Friday, drive to the beach, spend some quality time with yourself (and God — via solitude), and return to the Matrix (your distracted life) on Sunday!

It wouldn't do justice to try and describe how empowering (and cleansing) it is ... you'll have to experience it for yourself.

Let's say you "can't just take a solo trip to the beach."  Can you at least take yourself out for dinner and a movie?  Not a quick fast-food experience.  Take yourself to your favorite restaurant, order your favorite dish, your favorite glass of wine, and really enjoy the experience of spending time with you!  Afterward, take yourself to a movie, and notice how it feels.

I'm confident your spirit will be filled with joy.



I did, however, meet some cool peeps on my recent Solitude Beach Trip 2009, and we spent some time in conversation.  That's another great thing about solo trips — it forces you to interact with new people.  They look at you with curiosity, thinking, What's the deal with this guy?  Is he here at the beach by himself?  Who does that?  I wanna hear his story.

So they strike up conversation.  You make new friends; you make new business connections.

Even though two cute babes (my hotel neighbors) invited me to dinner on our final night, I chose to remain in the ocean — with my knees buried in the sand — as I watched the sun slowly fade.  It's not that I wouldn't have enjoyed dinner with my new pals, I just preferred the freedom that comes with having the entire beach to myself — for my communion with God.

In this communion, I was given the perfect title and theme for my second book.  :]

Doesn't this sound like a powerful place to be?  Are you ready to fall in love with yourself?  Are you tired of bombarding your life-experience with distractions?  Are you ready to stop running away from the two entities that you should be running towards?

I'm referring to God and your self.  In order to fall in love with your self, you've got to get to know your self.  In order to get to know your self, you have to spend time by yourself.

I assure you, cultivating a healthy, loving relationship with your self (and God) will be more fulfilling than the distractions that currently fill your life.  And once you're able to truly love yourself, you won't tolerate anyone else treating you in non-loving ways.  You'll simply dismiss them from your life, knowing you already have everything you need — within.  :]

Solitude is the first step in this process.  Have fun!