TheNiceLife.com Blog: Rules of Engagement While Pissing at the Urinal

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TheNiceLife.com Blog: Rules of Engagement While Pissing at the Urinal

Rules of Engagement While Pissing at the Urinal

Masculinity is not something given to you, but something you gain. And you gain it by winning small battles with honor. ~ Norman Mailer

Small battles begin in the Men's room.

I'm not homophobic. I have a couple gay guys I consider friends. I don't even get my panties in a wad when they flirt with me, or try to bring me to the dark side.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! Two snaps.

I'll even inject a "honey-child" into our conversations, so I can better relate to them, as I try to speak their language. One of my gay pals always insists on giving me a hug every time he sees me. It makes me feel a little weird, especially when I'm bartending, and there's a bunch of rough-and-tough bikers watching this man-hug go down.

But I'm a champion; I'm secure in my manhood, so I just roll with it.

However, there is a certain etiquette that needs to practiced while in the Men's bathroom. And this message applies to straight guys, because they tend to do it all the time.

When I'm standing at the urinal — penis in hand — this isn't the time to strike up a conversation. It's just plain weird. And uncomfortable.

The only form of communication that's acceptable while in the Men's room, with penis in hand, is this:

"Wuddup."

And that "Wuddup" is a statement; not a question. It's simply a salutation — an acknowledgment of the other person. The only acceptable response is a reciprocated "Wuddup."

You are permitted to substitute any greeting of your choice, such as "Hey Bud," or "Good Morning." And that's only if you must say anything at all. An even more appropriate form of bathroom etiquette would be total silence.

Walk in. Approach the urinal. Pull out your junk. Stare straight ahead. Release the urine. Reposition your junk. Walk to the sink. Wash hands with soap. Dry hands. Exit bathroom.

No talking is required.

The time for two men to discuss politics, hot chicks, football, or anything else IS NOT when they are both holding their naked penises.

That is all.

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